411 on Soaps

We have come to terms with the fact that Greg Vaughan will no longer be portraying Lucky Spencer on General Hospital. We have even warmed to the idea of Jonathan Jackson assuming his original role. However, we still want Greg on our screens daily. We have come up with a few simple and agreeable compromises:

We think now is the perfect time for Greg to reprise his role as Diego on Young and the Restless. Diego was “hero” type and hot as hell. It should come as no surprise that his damsel in distress was Sharon Newman. Now that Sharon is all alone, Diego could come back to Genoa City and show Sharon how it should be done. We think it would be even more exciting if Greg pulled a Sarah J. Brown, and came back to Y&R as a whole new character with a brand new name and a brand new identity that Greg could make his own.

On One Life to Live, Jared is either going to leave Llanview or die a horrible death, or so we assume since John Brotherton has been let go. This will leave poor voluptuous Natalie all alone to play mystery busters all by herself. We think now would be the perfect time for a new hottie with a penchant for red adventurous heads to stroll into town in the form of Greg Vaughan. Character name? Who gives a damn? We just want him back on our screen… Melissa Archer (Natalie) is hot, Greg is hot, it all makes sense to us!

What do you think Greg’s next role should be? Drop us a note below and let us know. We love to hear from you!

Every soap plays a storyline with an important socially conscious issue at the center every now and then. The usual suspects are alcoholism, addiction, eating disorders, and many many unlabeled temporary mental disorders, among others. What we never see is a storyline based on a real mental issue, such as Bi-Polar Disorder. This disorder is one that was once labeled manic depression, but now is diagnosed as Bi-Polar because it ranges beyond the average depression. People who have been diagnosed with this disorder are subjected to taking medication just to be society’s “normal” on a daily basis. Without the proper medications, a person with disorder is most likely to make very bad decisions that could result in the harm of that person or his or her family and friends. Many of these people are introduced to crime as a result of not having the ability to stop the mania that engulfs their brains. I am not a doctor, but I am a person that has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder. I had to learn the hard way that this disorder never goes away, but it can be treated. My point is, why not show the world how devastating this disorder can be for everyone involved on a soap opera? My life was full of scandal, lies, and uber drama before I was diagnosed, and even for a little while longer. So, this storyline would involve all the soap-esque things we love while sending an important message about Bi-Polar Disorder. If you have any thoughts on this issue, or have an “issue” storyline you would like to see on a soap, please leave us a comment and let us know. Thanks!

Gina

Yesterday was a hell of a day in Soap Land. Soapsters getting the boot, talk of cancellations, and other shockers (Greg Vaughn/Jonathon Jackson) proved to be too much for some soap fans. Twitter was all a-buzz about it, it became almost annoying to others. However, all of the events that occurred yesterday all form the “bigger picture” of the future of soaps. Could this be the end? Unfortunately, it seems as if soaps will eventually be obliterated from daytime tv. This leaves us wondering what the hell we will do all day. Many soap fans, including myself, have been watching these shows most of our lives. Obviously, the same “PTB” who are trying to save money to keep our shows alive are the same “PTB” that are causing the demise and they are obviously not taking the fans’ needs or wants into consideration.

Gina

Almost every soap character has committed one of the seven deadly sins. Let’s face it. Soaps are like “intellectual porn” for women (and some men) so sinning is the norm. Let’s delve into this a little deeper:

LUST: Lust is a common sin that our favorite soapsters engage in a lot. The most recent case of lust that remains notable is the case between Nikolas and Elizabeth on General Hospital. After months of stolen kisses and this can’t happens, Nikolas and Liz let the lust control them and ended up having incredibly hot sex.

GLUTTONY: Gluttony, or overindulgence, is another sin staple on soaps. Case in point? Dr. Taylor Hayes on Bold and the Beautiful. Taylor has been fighting for the love Ridge Forrester for 20 years. Also fighting for Ridge is the sexy seductress Brooke Logan. Brooke always wins, regardless. Taylor Hayes is a glutton for punishment.

GREED: Almost all of the citizens of any given soap city are wealthy whether they are employed are not. With loads of cash comes loads of greed, another sin that is quite popular. The greediest person on daytime television has got to be Henry Coleman from As The World Turns. Regardless of what he may lose, Henry always chooses a get rich quick theme over his loving wife, Vienna.

SLOTH: Slothdom on soaps is rare. It must be or these hard working actors and actresses wouldn’t get paid, right? However, soap opera comas are quite common. Therefore, we honor Shaun Evans as the latest victim of life stealing gunshot wounds and a botched surgery by his own brother, Greg. There is no telling when Shaun will be up and growling at people!

WRATH: Perhaps the most popular soap sin is wrath. Piss off a person and it’s perfectly alright for that person to kidnap, kill, blackmail, or to pull some other dastardly deed against the person who erred against that person. The most memorable story of wrath this year has been that of Mary Jane Benson/Patty Williams on Young and the Restless. In her case, her wrath extended to a variety of people, and animals as well. As her last act of revenge against the world, Patty shot Victor in the chest 3 times. That just made us love her more! But alas, she has been carted off to the looney bin.

ENVY: Jealousy can be a bitch. There is no envy shortage on any soap opera. The most bizarre and annoying instance of jealousy this year has been that of Stacy the Skank from One Life to Live. Stacy and her slutty stripper friend have concocted so many schemes in order for Stacy to “steal” sister Gigi’s baby daddy and lover of her life away. Stacy isn’t shy about her motives, and oftentimes tells Gigi exactly why she does what she does. Stacy has gone to great lengths to “get her man”, but in the end she will fail as she always does.

PRIDE: You know what they say: pride cometh before a fall. So the question is, when are Victor and Jack going to stop falling? Neither man can admit when he is wrong and neither man will ever back down. Jack and Victor have been in battle since before I was born and long before Peter Bergman stepped into Jack’s shoes. The battle continues! Victor is dire need of a heart transplant and Jack’s niece Colleen just happens to be brain dead and hanging on to life with feeding tubes and respirator. Will Jack swallow his pride and fork over the heart? Of course he will!

If you watch television, and most of you do, it is next to impossible to avoid constant showings of such shows as Criminal Minds, CSI, The Other CSI’s, and Cold Case. Criminal Minds and Cold Case are set to record on my DVR and I have had many opportunities to catch a variety of CSI episodes. One thing is for sure: A current or ex-soap star guest stars in 6 out of 10 episodes on any number of the above mentioned show. In fact, some of these shows have ex-soap stars in starring roles. Let us discuss:

-Criminal Minds: Starring Shemar Moore (Ex-Malcolm Winters, Y&R)

Soapies who have guest starred in the past:

Martha Madison (Ex-Belle Black Brady, Days), Elizabeth Hendrickson (Chloe Mitchell Abbott, Y&R), Eddie Cibrian (Ex-Cole, Sunset Beach), Michael Graziadi (Daniel Romalotti, Y&R)

-CSI: Soapies who have guest starred in the past:

Thad Luckinbill (J.T. Hellstrom, Y&R), Cameron Mathison (Ryan Lavery, AMC), Lindsay Hartley (Adrianna Hernandez, Days), Jon Lindstrom (Craig Montgomery, ATWT)

-CSI Miami: Starring Eva La Rue (Ex-Maria Santos, AMC)

Soapies who have guest starred in the past:

Rob Estes (Harry Mills, 90210), Jay Kenneth Johnson (Phillip Kiriakis, Days), Kari Wuhrer (Ex-Reese Marshall, GH), Dondre Whitfield (Ex-Terrence Fry, AMC), Greg Rikaart (Kevin Fisher, Y&R), Tom Pelphrey (Ex-Jonathan Randall, GL), Amelia Heinle (Victoria Newman, Y&R), Kirsten Storms (Maxie Jones, GH)

It should be noted that Eddie Cibrian’s hot ass has joined the cast of CSI Miami. Since he is one of favorite people to look at, and CSI Miami is a pretty good show, I will be tuning in as soon as he starts airing!

-CSI NY: Starring Melina Kanakaredes (Ex-Eleni Andros, GL)

Ashlee Simpson Wentz (Violet, Melrose Place), Shawn Christian (Daniel Jonas, Days), Justin Hartley (Ex-Fox Crane, Passions)

-Cold Case: Soapies who have starred in the past:

Mackenzie Mauzy (Ex-Phoebe Forrester, B&B), Mark Pinter (Agent Rayner, GH), Sarah J. Brown (Claudia Zacchara Corinthos, GH), Jerry Douglas (John Abbott, Y&R), Tamara Braun (Ex-Reese Williams, AMC), Michael Nader (Ex-Damitri Marick, AMC)

We know there are more, however we could find such specific details anywhere! Also, Elizabeth Hendrickson has been on most, if not all, of these shows at least once. We heart Elizabeth! Oh. And don’t get us started on Law & Order. NO ONE has time for that!

In the aftermath of the Port Charles carnival, will Liz and Nik finally go too far? Will Jason reveal what he saw? It looks like Olivia’s secret is safe, but for how long? Find out the answers to these burning questions by clicking on the pic. We’ll take you directly to Soaps.com for a preview of what’s coming up! Thanks!

Gina

Jess and I occasionally watch soaps together via telephone while she as at work and I am sitting on my ass. Over the last few months, one of the things that have caught our attention is eyebrows. The eyebrows of some of the actors and actresses that grace our screens with their presence daily (or not). At this time, here are the top eyebrow offenders:

The problem with Thomas Forrester (B&B) is that as he ages, he becomes more handsome in regards to facial features and physique. However, his bushy caterpillar-like brows are quite the distraction. The boy needs to fork over the $7 to get those bad boys threaded.

It’s not under lock and key that we are not big Mackenzie Browning fans; both Jess and I are quite vocal about how annoying we find her to be. It’s bad enough that we have to look at the “amazing weave that never moves” but those eyebrows could literally be hiding weapons of mass destruction. Hey, Mac was in Darfur.

Rex Balsam (OLTL) has a beautiful chiseled body, this is fact. He is a funny guy who makes mistakes, and a lot of them. Rex tends to blame his faults on other people. This has us wondering who he blames his eyebrows on? Mom or Dad or both, Rex should pull a Matthew Buchanan and sue the hell out of them.

We know we are going to get slammed by GH fans, as they tend to be the most ruthless, but Dr. Patrick Drake also has eyebrows of fury. We must give props where props are due: They are gradually thinning out. However, we are surprised Patrick can do any kind of surgery with all that hair in his eyes.

If we missed somebody, please let us know. We tend to be forgetful!

It’s no hidden secret that Y&R has gone crazy with the weaves that hair and make up slaps on its actresses. What we don’t understand is why? Here’s the 411 analysis of this hairy situation:

Tyra Hamilton: When Tyra showed up in Genoa City she had short hair and was quite stunning. The character was strong, fresh, and enjoyable to watch. Suddenly, Tyra began donning weaves of all different lengths and textures. With each passing weave, the character declined more and more until NO ONE wanted to see Tyra on screen ever again. Hair and make up made an ass out of Eva Marcille again by attaching some kind of animal tail to her head and sending her on set to seduce Devon. Ew. We haven’t seen much of her since, not that we are complaining, but we don’t think it can get much worse than that!

Mackenzie Browning: When Clementine Ford began playing Mac, we took an instant dislike to her. With her short hair and monotone voice, we were instantly calling “RECAST!”. Instead of taking our advice, and yours too, hair and make up slapped some extensions on Mac to make her appear younger. Wardrobe hooked her up with some cleavage-ready outfits and for a hot second, we had a change of heart. It didn’t last. Clementine Ford still kind-of sucks. Sorry girl.

Recently, AMC jumped in the wacky weave races by dropping a hot mess on top of Angie’s head. We aren’t exactly sure what they were going for, but we liked the short, curly, more age appropriate hair do that Angie was sporting before. That weave/wig/pelt is too much for us!

Jess and I are constantly discussing how hot some of the “teens” are on our soaps, only to end up discussing how wrong we were for discussing it in the first place. We can coax ourselves by knowing that usually in Soapland, teen characters are played by actors and actresses that are actually of age. There are exceptions, such as Kristen Alderson, who recently turned 18 and finally became legal, however she still plays the 17 year old Starr Manning.

We here at the 411 have decided to push out guilt to the side and relish in the fact that we can enjoy this delicious eye candy at will. So without further ado, here are our picks for the hottest “off limits” characters on daytime television:

Michael Corinthos, General Hospital (Drew Garrett): Poor Michael just woke up from a year long coma as a completely different person. Literally! When he was shot, Michael was just a red headed kid with the occasional scene for storyline purposes. When he awoke, he was a tall, angry, and mysterious Jason Morgan mini-me. Michael has had some serious attacks of rage mixed with violence; however, it is obvious that he is struggling to grasp his own identity. What we love about Michael is that he tries to do the right thing, even if it means going down for something he doesn’t remember doing.

Markko Riviera, One Life to Live (Jason Tam): Markko is just your average guy. He is a freelance photographer and boyfriend of Langston, whom he is very much in love with. Why do we think he is sexy? First, he rejected the slutty advances of Langston’s cousin Lola, who was quite clear about who she thought Markko should be with, and second, because he defied his overbearing parents to be with his lady love. To some, this defiance might seem the norm for a rebellious teen. To us, the defiance means that Markko is a keeper!

Noah Newman, Young and the Restless (Kevin Schmidt): The character of Noah Newman was played by the same cute faced little kid for years when suddenly he showed up in the form of teenage Noah. After a series of the same old teen drama, Noah has been forced to grow up while his parents play switch-swap with their partners and each other. Noah has proven that he is a caring, sweet, and mature young man with a little bit of wild side like his dad. Noah makes our “off limits” list is because he is the only person in Genoa City who doesn’t fall for Sharon’s b.s.!

Thomas Forrester, Bold and the Beautiful (Drew Tyler Bell): Unfortunately, Thomas recently took a little slip into the wild side, proving that the Forrester apple didn’t fall far from the evil tree. However, he still has some redeeming qualities. You may be asking yourself what they are right now….So are we. What is important to remember is that with parents like Ridge and Taylor, Thomas is going to have some serious issues with the ladies. Speaking of, has anyone ever seen Thomas go on a date?

Cole Thornhart, One Life to Live (Brandon Buddy): Oh let us count the ways! Cole’s relationship with Starr seemed weird to many including myself. After taking a brief hiatus from viewing, I returned to discover that Cole and Starr had “lost” their baby and that Cole had turned to drugs to cope. We watched as a drug induced Cole drove a car that crashed, causing Matthew’s paralysis. We watched this boy take hit after hit, but Cole managed to pull it together with the help and love of Starr and others around him. After getting things back on track, Cole’s freedom was threatened and he could have run. Cole chose to stay with Starr and the baby, no matter what the cost. This makes him our #1 choice for the hottest “off limits” character on daytime television!

Jess and I opted against including Kiefer from General Hospital simply because he is an ass. Once an abuser, always an abuser.

I think we can all agree that meeting one of our favorite soap stars would be a dream come true. Many of us will never have that opportunity and for that reason, social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter have opened the door for us common folk to (maybe) communicate with celebs.

I say maybe because some celebs, including soap stars, use social networking sites to promote themselves. This is understandable in the business world; however, these are the celebs that will not respond to fans. What the fans want is a celeb who appreciates his or her fan base, as well as the fact that he or she is just a person too.

Have no fear! These celebs do exist and many of them are soap stars! One example of an appreciative celeb is Sarah J. Brown (Claudia, GH). Brown is front and center on Twitter and Facebook daily, updating us on the goings on of the show, as well as her personal life. Sarah interacts with fans, seems to be one of the most down to earth people, and she spends no time promoting herself to obtain a larger fan base. How do I know I this? I know this because I follow her updates on Twitter and I am “friends” with her on Facebook.

Has Sarah Brown ever talked to me personally through these sites? No. The reason? It’s simple. I have never taken the initiative to drop her a virtual line. I see Sarah respond to “tweets” daily from people that I too talk to on a daily basis. There are many other soap stars who also post updates daily on Twitter, but I would have to say that Sarah is the most forthcoming on a social level.

Michelle Stafford joined the Twitter world this week and has been inundated with tweets from many soap fans, including myself. And yes, she did respond! We will have to wait and see if that continues or if us Twitteristas will fall to the wayside. I will keep my fingers crossed that Michelle will continue to be so down to earth.

There is an aspect to social networking to watch out for: Fakes! We all know that imposters are the norm in an online setting and soap star imposters are no different. For example, I myself sent a Facebook friend request to someone claiming to be Rachael Melvin (Ex-Chelsea, Days). This person accepted almost right away. Only hours later, this person started a personal chat with me on Facebook. Ever the cynic, I instantly decided that this person was a fraud. After I asked this person a few questions about her pending exit from Days, “Chelsea” referred me to her website. Repeatedly. This person, of course, was promptly deleted from my friends list.

The moral of the story is, there will always be those celebs that could care less about the fans when it comes to real life. Just remember that there are celebs who do care and who will respond if you choose to engage them.