Tag Archives: ella simms

The Melrose Meltdown


Well, the proverbial shit hit the fan on this week’s eppy of Melrose Place. Riley had a head on collision with Auggie that made her realize that eloping with Jonah would be, um, stupid. Sadly, Auggie kissed Riley in the presence of the red-headed psychopath, Violet. Riley and Jonah met up to get married, but the beautiful Ella interrupted with yet another chance of a lifetime for Jonah. Riley encouraged Jonah to take the opportunity, therefore squashing his hopes of getting married. Jonah then threw a mantrum, called off the wedding, and ran to Ella with his tail tucked between his legs.

In the meantime, our favorite doctor-hooker-intern Lauren got a call to go on a “job” with an old client. Once there, the guy tried to give Lauren drugs, which she of course refused. She didn’t refuse his offer of a glass of wine, which he of course drugged. Lauren overdosed shortly after and David had to come get her. Lauren was then rushed to the hospital. That she works at.

Through a series of flashbacks, we learned that Michael’s current wife is the one that offed Sydney. I hate to say it, but she probably had a good reason. Regardless, Violet also gained the knowledge and confronted Mrs. Mancini, resulting in a pool-catfight. It was old school Jane and Sydney for a hot second, but the Violet choked the life out of the good wife. Witness to this was Amanda, who quickly stood up for Violet, telling the police that it was self defense.

At the end of the episode, Jonah and Ella had sex. Normally, this would please me. However, it was Jonah, so pleased I am not. I am even more unhappy with the fact that Melrose Place will not air new episodes until after the new year. This is unsatisfactory, due to my need for scandalocity. We will keep you informed as to new eppy air dates, I promise!

Melrose Place: Wax Much?


Last night’s episode of Melrose Place was really exciting. Michael threatened Lauren but Lauren and David turned the tables and Michael ended up behind bars. I just know them two kiddies are going to pay for that. Violet’s adopted brother/lover came to visit, demanding that Violet go home with him. Violet tried to brush him off. Later, he came back and got a little scary with both Violet and Riley. In the process, Jonah’s prized camera was destroyed.

Jonah started his new job. Ella asked him to spy for her. He did that and more. He spied on her as well, discovering that she had thrown him under the bus for her job. Jonah told Ella that their relationship was over, quit his job, and then went home to throw a tantrum over his stupid ass camera. Not over the well being of his girlfriend….No. That would be weird.

Speaking of weird, this brings me to the point of this piece. What little modicum of hotness was left of Jonah evaporated as soon as I saw that massive V of curly chest hair. Not only does he look like some kind of sasquatch, but it is really obvious that Jonah has waxed before.

Therefore, the Melrose Place question of the week is:

Why is MP forcing us to watch Riley and Jonah have sex, but cutting us off of the hotness every time Dr. Hooker Intern Lauren and Kleptomaniac David start to get it on?



Melrose Place: Can We Get Some More of That?!


It is no secret that Melrose Place’s Ella is a super freak and will do just about anything to get ahead. Ella is not the only one. The queen of dirty deeds herself, Amanda Woodward, is gunning for Ella and sent a sexy minion in to take her down. After a seriously hot make out session between the two women, Ella broke off the almost-sexin in order to do the job she came to do. Amanda seemed surprised that Ella didn’t take the bait. So round one scores of Blond vs. Blond are Amanda: 0, Ella: 1. We personally cannot wait until round two! Fortunately for us, Ella is not the only person in that complex that Amanda wants to take down. Looks like this may be the beginning of some very beautiful friendships….

Melrose Place: The Show WILL Go On!


Fans of the new Melrose Place were devastated at the news that Colin Efflesfield and Ashlee Simpson Wentz had been fired for storyline purposes. Some of us even swore we would never watch the show again. Things have calmed down since then. A hottie replacement has been found, in the form of Nick Zano, and Heather Locklear has returned as the uber bitchy Amanda. Also, the once slightly boring character of David has suddenly become the hottest thing walking on that show. Sadly, we will miss Colin and the evil that Ashlee brings to her scenes. Having said that, we hate to admit that sacrificing Colin to get rid of Ashlee was a strategy that MP had to utilize to save its own ass. We don’t want to see Colin go, but Melrose Place will go on without him, and we will still be watching. However, we will be looking for Colin to be snatched up by a new show very quickly. What do you think about Melrose Place right now? Leave us a comment and let us know. Thanks!