Well, the proverbial shit hit the fan on this week’s eppy of Melrose Place. Riley had a head on collision with Auggie that made her realize that eloping with Jonah would be, um, stupid. Sadly, Auggie kissed Riley in the presence of the red-headed psychopath, Violet. Riley and Jonah met up to get married, but the beautiful Ella interrupted with yet another chance of a lifetime for Jonah. Riley encouraged Jonah to take the opportunity, therefore squashing his hopes of getting married. Jonah then threw a mantrum, called off the wedding, and ran to Ella with his tail tucked between his legs.
In the meantime, our favorite doctor-hooker-intern Lauren got a call to go on a “job” with an old client. Once there, the guy tried to give Lauren drugs, which she of course refused. She didn’t refuse his offer of a glass of wine, which he of course drugged. Lauren overdosed shortly after and David had to come get her. Lauren was then rushed to the hospital. That she works at.
Through a series of flashbacks, we learned that Michael’s current wife is the one that offed Sydney. I hate to say it, but she probably had a good reason. Regardless, Violet also gained the knowledge and confronted Mrs. Mancini, resulting in a pool-catfight. It was old school Jane and Sydney for a hot second, but the Violet choked the life out of the good wife. Witness to this was Amanda, who quickly stood up for Violet, telling the police that it was self defense.
At the end of the episode, Jonah and Ella had sex. Normally, this would please me. However, it was Jonah, so pleased I am not. I am even more unhappy with the fact that Melrose Place will not air new episodes until after the new year. This is unsatisfactory, due to my need for scandalocity. We will keep you informed as to new eppy air dates, I promise!