It is really hard to make it through an episode of B&B without laughing your ass off at something that was never meant to be funny in the first place. B&B has no shortage of ridiculous storylines and the latest Jackowen debacle is no different. Suddenly, Owen wants to have a baby and apparently, Steffy is the only fertile young thing in town. Jackie is beyond the years of child bearing and has generously offered to let Owen go so that he can become the father he wants to be. A desperate Owen has tried to find ways to have his cake and eat it too, and the topic of surrogacy has come up. Finally, Jackie just gave up, telling Owen and Steffy to do the damn thing and procreate already. Owen isn’t ready to give up on his beloved Jackie M just yet, so today he offered up a brand new solution. Adopt a puppy! Under normal circumstances, this may not be that funny. However, Jessica and I were discussing the hilariousness of the character names on B&B and how they all follow a very distinct theme. In lieu of Owen’s brand new idea, we have come up with some fitting names for the “new addition” to the Knight family. They are as follows:
Quartz, Topaz, Charcoal, Fossil, Diamondique, Brick, Cinder, Ore, and last but not least, Stream.
Also, we took it upon ourselves to go ahead and pick out the puppy for Owen and Jackie. We know how busy they are, running a major fashion house and all.
For months now, Jackie and Owen (B&B) have been having problems in their marriage. Jackie’s scandalous past came back to haunt her again. She almost slept with Whip. Almost. Owen seems to have gotten past all of Jackie’s scandalocity and the couple has (temporarily) mended fences. Enter Steffy, who seems to be more like her mother, Taylor, everyday. Steffy is young and has a banging body and she knows how to use it. Steffy has been sticking her nose in all of Owen’s business, especially when it concerns his marriage to Jackie. When this began, we all knew what it would lead to. Last week, Steffy kidnapped Owen and took him on Nick’s yacht to get him away from all of his troubles and show him what it is like to have fun again. We are pretty sure that if Owen would have been freed from Steffy’s talons, Jackie would have shown him lots of ways to have fun. Regardless, a bikini clad Steffy began to tickle Owen and during the struggle, Steffy fell and smashed her dome on the side of the yacht. Then, she fell over the side. Of course, Owen jumped in and was “forced” to give her mouth to mouth. Suddenly, Steffy has had an epiphany! The little scamp has chosen to set her sights on Mr. Knight and dig her claws into his sexy chest at the first chance she gets. You would think that one would learn from watching her mother go after the same man for over 20 years and getting absolutely nowhere. Guess not.
No soap couple can be happy, especially after the two characters involved embark on “marital bliss”. Unfortunately, it looks like Jackowen’s short and odd union is about to be done. If I had to guess, I would say that Jackie is about to make the “ultimate” sacrifice (Brooke Logan style) and push Owen into the waiting and greedy arms of the young and slutty Steffy.
After watching Steffy confront Jackie about her relationship with Owen, I am more convinced than ever that Steffy is satan’s spawn. The nerve of that little bitch to tell Jackie’s grown ass how to deal with her boy toy of a husband? Her blatant statements and pretend empathy was almost as fake as that stupid grin she had on her face the whole time she was lecturing Jackie.
I have to ponder why Steffy is always walking around in a bikini in front of her dad and any other man she comes into contact with. Why would Owen choose now to befriend the hot, sexy, slutty, and newly single Steffy while his marriage is on the rocks? Maybe in the back of Owen’s mind, he knows that he is not a suitable life partner for Jackie, just as Jackie is coming to grips with the same fact.
Will Whip win Jackie over after all? Will Owen end up with Steffy? Who knows!
Incoming search terms:
I am not sure how you would classify Owen Knight after today’s episode of B&B, but I definitely call him an asshole with a capital A. Was Jackie wrong for smooching and canoodling with Whip? Maybe so. However, how can Owen judge when he conveniently omitted having a twin since he came on the show?
Soap marriages usually turn out to be boring and tedious, or short and explosive. I have the distinct feeling that the Jackowen union will be the latter. Whip is more suited for Jackie, if ever a man could be suited for her. Owen is deemed by many, including myself, to be a temporary whim of boy toy fancy for Jackie.
What was irritating about this couple’s argument today was Owen’s lack of respect for Jackie’s feelings. He was like a child whose feelings had been hurt. I almost expected Owen to ask Jackie for a band aid. He reduced Jackie to tears and laid out a thick carpet of guilt for her to step on. It was pathetic.
According to next week’s spoilers, Owen will cave into Jackie under the condition that she stay far away from Whip. I don’t think she will be able to do it. I wouldn’t be able to!
Remember just a couple of months ago when Jackie and Owen were the hottest thing on B&B? I do too, and I wish I didn’t. What was an exciting couple has turned into joke. Their marriage, if you can call it that, is based on sex and the fact that Owen is fun to have sex with. As much as I love to see Brandon Beemer in his black boxer briefs, I would really like to see him tackle some serious storyline as well. That is, if the writers of B&B were capable of such a feat. That’s for another day…
Enter Whip, who I was certain would be paired with ex-wife Brooke. Stephanie hired Whip to handle some things for her, but I am not sure that Jackie was one of them. Regardless, our conniving business man has taken quite a liking to our local cougar.
So what is the prognosis, you may ask? This week, Jackie and Owen will get into a marital spat and Jackie will sleep with Whip.
Prediction: Jackie will find true love for the first time with Whip, but stay with Owen, struggling with the love of both men, yada, yada, yada. Owen’s true motives for marrying Jackie will be exposed by Whip, and Whip and Jackie will be together. Then, when Jackie is done with Whip, she will trade him in for a younger, less intelligent companion, as usual.